I love the smell of deep-fried eyeballs in the morning...

... It smells like mounties!

Tuesday was the pre-op appointment. I went in with a tech for some measurements: first a corneal map, then a wavefront analysis, then they tried for an ultrasound measurement of my corneal thickness. Tried. The way that works is they stick a probe that looks like the end of a pen onto the surface of the eye then get a reading. it didn't work. twice. It sucked. Fortunately I didn't really need that test since I only had a very small amount of correction, which means a very small amount of cornea to remove, i.e.thickness was not a factor. Thank god. Then it was off for the dialation, so I got to sit and wait for it to kick in for a bit, not too long, they use a faster acting solution than my local optometrist does, and then a doctor (opthamologist I think) got to have a go at me. The usual routine, like every time you go for a checkup, "better 1 or 2?" lights, depth perception, all that stuff. In all it took a little under 2 hours, and then we were done.

I had the surgery wednesday... I had a hell of a time sleeping, partly from nerves, partly because the couple in the apartment above me were celebrating valentines day... Got up early and had breakfast, then my Dad drove over and picked me up for the drive down. The weather was a little skosh, but not that bad. It's winter in Canada, what did you expect? I showed up 40 minutes early at the clinic and checked in, they went through the medication that I have to take with me, and gave me a name tag to put on my right side of my chest. Double patients put theirs in the middle, but mine is only for the right eye, so mine goes on the right. One less way to screw up. First thing was the meeting with the surgeon, then back out to wait some more. I got led into the room after a while, sat down in a supersized version of a dentist's chair and they tipped me back, then tracked the seat over laterally to sit under a special microscope. I chatted with the nurses/physician's assistants/techs/whatever they were for 10 minutes or so, then the surgeon came in and it was time to get to work. She put an eyelid retractor thing on my eye, she called it a speculum, I called it a car jack; then they put a few different types of drops in to freeze the eye. Then they put some sort of, um, puck over my eye, I'm not sure what it was, then it was time for the Laser. I stared at the red and green lights, and then the unit powered up and then when it was emiting it made a snapping, arcing sound... kinda like a clicking noise I could smell the eyeball burning away.... not really burning, because it's a cold laser, but there was a smell of burnt hair coming from my eye. 14.7 seconds later, it's over. The puck was removed and a couple of more drops went in, then a bandage contact lens, the car jack came out, and then I was done. They sat me up and then out into the waiting room and I got to sit in a very nice lazy boy for a bit, and a bottle of custom labeled "gimbel water" while they waited to see how bad I was in shock (I was, but not bad at all - you wouldn't think something like this would affect the whole body, but it does put you a little bit into shock) I had gotten myself pretty stressed and worked myself up with the whole thing (hey, it's my eyes! You are gonna cook the front of em while I'm still trying to use them!!!) I had taken a sedative pill that morning and they gave me stress balls to squeeze, but the ease of the procedure was almost a let down. I got my sunglasses on, went downstairs to the pharmacy to get my collection of eye drops and Tylenol-3's and then we were on the way home. I have a collection of eyedrops of every description - there is a steroid, an antibiotic, a kind with ASA (Asprin) in it, and 3 kinds of artificial tears. I have to use this special kind that is preservative free every 15 minutes, a gel kind for sleeping, and then the plain old OTC ones for after I have the bandage lens out. When I'm sleeping I have to use the gel drops, and then tape a plastic sheild over the eye so I don't pop out the contact accidently. Only until Saturday, fortunately.

On Thursday we were back down in Calgary again, this time for the followup visit. I got another visual acuity test - this time it was 20/30 in that eye, much better than usual for 24 hours after surgery, or so they told me. Then I just hook up a garden hose to my eye full of eye drops...

On Saturday I have an appointment to get my bandage lens out, but not in Calgary, only with my regular eye doctor.

I have been seeing my vision fluctuate since the surgery. Fuzzy - clear - fuzzy - clear. It is supposed to take about 6 weeks to stabilize fully. I can start going to the gym any time, I just have to wear a sweat band, and I have to be careful how I wash my face in the shower - can't get soap in it. I should be able to drive again, too, once my bandage lens comes out. I'm off work until next Friday to recover and then I have to wear safety glasses to help protect the eye while I'm at work.