No cards, no calls, no letters?

I called the Mounties today. The stress was getting to be a little much - my polygraph was almost 3 weeks ago, why the fuck haven't they called, sent a singing telegram, pony express, fax or email?? It was killing me.

So I called. (Paraphrased here)

"Hi, this is Kyle, I have an open file with you and I was wondering if I could get an update on my progress - I haven't heard anything since my polygraph"

"Just a sec, I'll look at your file" Click, on hold.

Click. Back. "you haven't gotten a letter yet?"

"No, ma'am."

"just a sec" Click. On hold.

Still on hold.

They should consider elevator music, holding is boring.

Holding...

My blood pressure is measured in decibels cause I'm still on hold...

FOR THE LOVE OF TIMBITS WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY POLYGRAPH I DON'T EVEN LITTER IPROMISEIWILLNEVEREVERDOAROLLINGSTOPAGAINJUSTPLEASEPICKUPTHEPHONE!!!!!

Click. Back. "So you had eye surgery in February, correct?"

"Yes, Ma'am"

"OK, they didn't send you a letter out because your file is flagged as being on hold until three months is up, so they were just going to wait until then to send you the information for the opthamologist, then your file will go to medical and background checks. But you passed your polygraph."

PHEW! I can breathe again!

I got a little bit more information about some of the related stuff I needed to know, then I needed a break and to blow off some steam, so I loaded up a couple of rifles and one of my competition handguns and headed off to the shooting range for the rest of the afternoon to waste the rest of my day off