IT'S A GIRL!!!

My new niece, Maren, was born this morning a little before 5 am mountain time. Mommy and baby are doing well, daddy is expected to recover. :) Maren weighs in at 8 lbs 7 oz.

Pictures to follow when I visit tomorrow.

Got your life jacket on?

Sis's water broke tonight around 7 or so...

We are now standing by to stand by!

You can't tell me that is sexy.

OK< some people need help. I was at the gym tonight after work, and as I'm on the machines, I see something wierd. There's a girl on the stair machine, whose arms are so thin I could have put my hand around them. No bicep, no tricep, no NOTHING. Not just skinny, scary. So I look a little closer. She's probably mid twenties or so. She looks like she used to be pretty, except that her face now looks hollow. It's like she went from fat, right through phat, now she's at freak. Seriously anorexic. As I was looking at her, I saw she had pretty tight pants on, normally that's a fringe benefit for a guy at the gym... I can tell she is wearing a thong, but I can see the line from it quite clearly going down, all the way under her pelvis... All the way. It does not disapper between the cheeks, because there are no cheeks. Her ass is gone. She's pounding the stair machine into submission, then she goes over to the weight machines and start working her legs some more. I could tell from the tight pants that her legs were in the same shape as her arms. She looked like an ethiopian poster child. Holy shit! Has she started believeing the cosmo mags about how you have to be super thin? Have any of these people who publish those magazines ever asked a normal, average, straight guy what looks sexy? It ain't that, let me tell you! I used to run around a little with a girl who was really skinny... not this bad, but still too skinny. It is not nearly as much fun to have sex with girls like that, because there is nothing but bony painful spots where there should be graceful and intriguing curves. The best part of a woman is that she isn't a man! She should have curves, men shouldn't. If I thought that girls like that were sexy, I'd just hump a fence post - same effect. This chick had no curves at all. Straight line from shoulder to knee (except where there were bones sticking out.) I would not date a woman like that. I would not have sex with a woman like that. It's not natural, it's not right, it's not healthy. This chick that I was seeing back in the day got a little more meat on her bones, she grew some curves, and her boobs got bigger. She got sexier. This chick tonight at the gym, I don't think she will live much longer before the anorexia kills her.

Still waiting...

Dammit!

Dosen't my sister realize that the longer she waits to hatch, the longer I have to plot more twisted uncle like schemes for getting even with her for all that schtuff growing up?

Stand by...

So. No kid yet.

Weekend is now over, the doc was wrong on thursday that things were going to happen.

We sit and we wait.

ALL HANDS TO BATTLE STATIONS!!!!

GENERAL QUARTERS, GENERAL QUARTERS; ALL HANDS TO BATTLE STATIONS!!!!

Ahoy.... er, I mean, hello, again. I am about to become an uncle. Yes, I know, I've said that before. But I am now about to become an uncle right away!!! My sister is entering her 38th week, and is aparantly already 2cm dialated... I am figuratively and literally sitting by my phone right now, waiting for the call that the kid is coming. In the literal sense, because it's a cell phone and is attached to my belt, right here on my side. The doc thinks there is a very good chance that we will be having the old easter egg hunt at the hospital in Edmonton!

Which reminds me why I was inspired to the "Battlestations" thing... well, it's my sister's kid, and being as she is my sister, she deserves the very best in mischief and mayhem that I can possibly provide... All hands on deck and arm yourselves with timbits, drum sets, capguns and and bow and arrow sets! Any other similar evil uncle gifts for the kid which may be useful in inspiring the lil' monster to make noise, be hyperactive, and make rude noises at the dinner table are specifically encouraged!

As a primer, I gave the unborn little creature presents at Christmas - Finger paints and permanent markers!!

I am going to have so much fun with this kid!! I can't wait to babysit!

As some of you may have noticed, I have not made a new post since the evening of Thursday, March third. I have been constantly updating that post as more news of the fallen has come out. I am in a state of shock and mourning, like many other Canadians are this week, given the events of last thursday.

I have so far not been able to bring together a post to put up here, but I will try to express myself now. Four young officers were murdered by a psychopath. They put on a uniform and accepted a number of risks which come with it, but that does not change the fact that they should be alive today. I could blow up now about the misuse of the charter by the courts, the inability of the general public to accept the world is a dangerous place, the inability of Parliament to enact laws with sufficient teeth to be a deterrent to crime, and the list goes on.

I could have been one of those four.

I have applied to the RCMP in the past, and very narrowly missed getting in. ‘That’ close. I should have applied again a few years ago, according to my father. He was probably right, but I wanted to get a few more of my ducks into a row. I have been directing all of my planning for the last 5 years into making myself a better candidate for the Force. I have been pursuing work opportunities that I think will make myself look better in the RCMP’s eyes. Everything has been pointed in that one direction.

I come from a policing background. My father was RCMP. Over 30 years before he retired, more or less unscathed – at least in the broader sense. I know the bond between all police officers. I share it too, in a form. I grew up around cops. Constantly exposed to the police culture at my father’s work and at home. I am not yet a member of that brotherhood, but I consider each and every man and woman who wears that uniform to be a brother.

I am basically the same age as all of them. Three of the four have lived in this city. I may have met some of them. Hell, when my dad was working for the RCMP he did the security/background investigation on one of them.

Fortune is a curious thing. I could have been standing there that morning. For whatever reason, my role in the grand scheme of things has yet to be played out. Maybe, hopefully, one day soon I will be among those who put on that uniform every day. I will have to accept the same risks as the four fallen Constables. I do not have a problem with those risks. However, I am reminded by this episode just how fragile and fleeting life is. If you are reading this, please do two things for me. First, call, write, email or visit the people you care about. Tell them how much you care about them and why. Right now. This is important – you just never know. One of you might not be around to hear or say it later. Second, next time you see a cop, even if it’s because you were speeding and got pulled over; thank them for doing their job. Shake their hand. It’s not something a cop hears as often as they deserve.

10-33

188. MYROL, Brock; Constable. Engaged to the RCMP 14 Feb 2005. Posted to Mayerthorpe detachment. Age 29 years. Home town Red Deer, Alberta. Engaged to be married. Murdered while on duty near Rochfort Bridge, Alberta 03 Mar 2005

189. JOHNSTON, Lionide; Constable. Engaged to the RCMP Mar 2001. Posted to Mayerthorpe detachment. Age 33 years. Married. Home town Owl River, Alberta. Murdered while on duty near Rochfort Bridge, Alberta 03 Mar 2005

190.SCHIEMANN, Peter; Constable. Engaged to the the RCMP 27 Nov 2000. Posted to Mayerthorpe detachment. Age 25 years. Home town Stony Plain, Alberta. Murdered while on duty near Rochfort Bridge, Alberta 03 Mar 2005

191.GORDON, Anthony; Constable. Engaged to the the RCMP 15 Oct 2002. Posted to the Whitecourt detachment. Age 28 years. Married, father of two. Home town Red Deer, Alberta. Murdered while on duty near Rochfort Bridge, Alberta 03 Mar 2005

They shall not grow old,
as we that are left grow old.
Age shall not weary them,
nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun,
and in the morning;
We will remember them.

Now that's almost like stealing!

Last night I had a dream about work again.

I should really be getting paid for it because I would have sworn I was actually there, at work, working. There were no hippopotamuses doing ballet through the aisles so I couldn't even tell I was dreaming until I woke up and found myself in bed. That's so close to having the company steal from me it's not even funny.

I don't know what it is but since I've become a boss I've been having dreams like these. I've never had to hire people before (which is actually pretty easy as long as you're careful and prudent) or discipline staff who are getting out of line (which feels like I'm walking through a minefield during an artillery barrage). I have a new challenge to answer this week - I have to write and present a performance review to one of my staff members which includes an annual pay review. Direct to his pocketbook. I also have to write and present two other performance reviews to some other staff, but at least not money ones.

The funny thing is, I don't feel stressed about work ever. Maybe that's a sign that I'm not understanding the situation, I don't know.

How come the brochure said this was going to be an easy, glamourous job?